Peter Nguyen on Atoms

Post your favourites in the comments section.

Lord of the Flies

Peter Nguyen's biography of Walt Whitman

It's time for another essay from Peter Nguyen:

My favorite quotations:

"He and his friend, Huck Finn, traveled down the Mississippi river and freed the slaves."

"Walt Whitman's might seem like a real cool guy but in reality he's a whiny ass pussy."

"His Livejournal, which he doesn't think anyone knows about is full of whiny goth poetry. His Current Mood is always "Apathetic" and his music is always some obscure punk band that no one has ever heard of."

"Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and fell out because he wasn't fastened properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb ass, now none of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman."

Peter Nguyen, you should have your own blog!

Peter Nguyen's essay on US Capitalism

Peter Nguyen strikes again!

My favourite lines are:

"In the war of 1812, Osama bin Laden declared Jihad on the West Coast and killed Tupac. In retaliation, we tried killing Saddam Hussein but accidentally killed the Notorious Biggie Smalls."

"Many nations are poor because they have no money. ...  I think they try to eat the money because they're spoiled by missionaries who give them food instead of teaching them how to get money. I think thay's what they mean by 'nickels a day can feed a child.' I thought, 'how could food be so cheap over there?' It's not, they just eat the nickels"

"When Americans first came to this nation, the Indians picked a lot of fights and killed America's best friend (not Mexico). The Americans got really pissed and became the United States of America 2 (US2) and killed all the Indians."

"In conclusion, the USA rules and everyone else drools.  That's why I don't let other nations in my secret clubhouse. Other nations and girls. In conclusion girls are icky."

Christopher Columbus discovers The Planet of the Apes

Here we have another great essay from out friend Peter Nguyen.
My favorites quotes are:

• "He, and his three trusty crewmates, Maria, Santa Maria and Tupac..."
• "...but it wasn't until he tried to return to America that the real nightmare began..."
• "The monkeys, amazed at the human's intelligence, refused to believe that there was an entire land of intelligent human..."

I especially loved how he slowly and cleverly morphs the essay into one about The Planet of the Apes.

WWII Essay about Jimmy McPerson

I love this one. Peter writes an excellent example of what Zero Out of Five is all about; if you do not know the answer, make it up. I find it interesting that Peter decided to make up something rather than write about someone real. This is remeniscent of 2 Girls, 1 Cup, 0 Marks.

I love how Peter talks about the "President of Japan" and how later in the essay he mistakingly (or on purpose) refers to Japan as China. I love the marker's comment when Peter writes that Hitler was right behind "Jimmy McPerson".

"If Jimmy was forgotten by History, how do you know about him?" that's a classic comment.