Don't judge too quickly

Thanks to Peggy for this submission. I'm not sure if it's real or not, but I don't care, because it's hilarious!



Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Mary Jane's Lab

I doubt this is real, but it's still funny

Collegehumor.com

If I made any mistakes on this test, hopefully this picture of a Giraffe will convince you otherwise.

Next time cite Collegehumor


Thanks to Collegehumor.com for this one.

Cool teacher!

By the way, I'm pretty sure 'bromination' (question #4) is actually the act of two men becoming friends.

The Stranger

3. How does Part One of The Stranger exemplify the absurd?

Part 1 of "the stranger" is not absurd at all. You have to sit on your hand until you can't feel it. The less you can feel it, the better part 2 is.

-> You should spend more time reading and less time with "The Stranger"



The only thing funnier than this student's answer, is the teacher's comment!

Bubble Sheet Creativity

Note to student: The reason teachers use bubble sheets is so they don't have to mark your test; your message was lost in the Scantron. Next time you think about doing something like this, save yourself some time and do what this student did instead.

Fact & Opinion

What is the difference between Fact and Opinion.
Fact- Fact is not Fiction
Opinion - I think this quiz is lame.


I agree.

Tetris vs Math

Tetris is fun, math isn't

I wonder if this student knows that there would be no Tetris without Math?

Epic test FAIL!!!

So many great answers on this test, my favourites are listed below:

1.) If a patient is hyperventilating, is the pH going up or down? Is the patient acidotic or alkalotic? (1 point)
Who gives a shit, they're probably old

6.) What determines a "Load and Go" situation? (1/2 point)
A bitch be askin for commitment

8.) What does it mean when the body is decompensating? (1/2 point)
When you shit in the living room and forget to wipe (funny story actually) - tell me after class

10.) What are the Five R's (2.5 points)
1. Rape 2. Rape 3. Rape 4. Rape 5. Raspberry


Having a bad day indeed!

AIDS in the early 80's

19. Early in the AIDS epidemic in the US, which of the following was thought to be a most likely route of passing the infectious agent?
a) Kissing
b) Masturbation
c) Coughing and sneezing
d) Fisting
e) Eating red meat


a) Maybe
b) How could this pass an infection? No seriously, is this possible? I don't want to get AIDS.
c) Maybe
d) WTF?????????????
e) Wouldn't more people have AIDS then?

Let's simplify the problem a little...

9) If I am traveling at 100 feet/second in a car and the speed limit is 65 miles per hour, am I speeding? How far will I travel (to the nearest mile) in 3 hours at this rate of speed?

Look at the speedometer asshole!


Well said.

Turning things around

You may already know this, but in case Alex has neglected to tell you, I am assigning him to detention for one hour this Friday, April 22nd. The reason is as follows:

Alex consistently defied me. During class he contradicted me numerous times when I insisted that the length of one kilometer was greater than that of one mile. Every other student in class accepted my lesson without argument, but your son refused to believe what I told him, offering such rebuttals as, "You're lying to the class," and commanding other students to challenge my curriculum.

Although he was correct, Alex's actions show a blatant disregard for authority, and a complete lack of respect for his school. In the future, Alex would be better off simply accepting my teachings without resistance.

Please see to it that your son understands this.


What a bunch of BULLSHIT, I hope the parents gave this teacher an earful! What do you teachers out there do when you have a student that dissents and turns out to be correct?

Random Words

42. apendix - spelled wrong
43. flubber - not real
44. mastodon - wrong class
45. base line - correct
46. dicot plants - wrong class

The Flying Whale Defense

Thanks to Darren from rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com for this submission.

Darren describes it in his own words:
The problem was simple. On the whiteboard I drew a crude outline of a medieval castle with a cannon on top. The cannon is 100 feet above the ground and fires horizontally with a muzzle velocity of 250 feet per second. The cannon ball lands right at the feet of an enemy soldier. How far from the castle is the soldier?

Notice the student's beautiful castle and upgraded weaponry, as well as his nationalization of the enemy target.

I'm beginning to think I should have given more than 2 bonus points for this work.


I'm glad Darren pointed out the target's nationality, because I would have missed that. Maybe the student was inspired by this?

Geography test gone wrong

1. The names of the commodores were were John Dewey and Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry was sent to Japan with big steam powered ships to scare Japan into opening up to trade. John Dewey wrote the famous song "Puttin' on the Ritz", which has been performed by Fred Astaire and featured in the 1974 Mel Brookes movie "Young Frankenstein".

2. Bill Gorgos was the first Jewish rapper to release a song and have it reach #1 on iTunes music sales. He accomplished this by practicing daily and never mixing meat with dairy.


Somewhere in the middle, of #1 this student's brain went haywire!

Side note: I have all of Bill Gorgos' albums.

Worst Cubic EVAR!

Sketch a graph for each situation if possible.
a cubic function with only one real zero
picture?


This student sucks at Math and Art!

For you non mathies out there, this is what a cubic is.

Robot Attack 2.0!

Robot Attack 1.0 is here.

If you look closely, the teacher added a couple of people falling off one of the buildings on the right, SWEET!

Hores make you feel good

I like hores. Hores have other hores frinds. Hores like carots. You wouldn't think they coud but they can put thir legs strait up. Hores make you feel good. My dad wants a hores byt my mom says no. When I am 16 or 20 I will by my own hores.

I never knew a hores could put their legs strait up, did you?

Thanks to Mark from Gogol Blogello for sending this to me.