"Oedipus married Laius's widow, Queen Jocasta. So basically he was fuckin his own mom which was fucking nasty. He ruled well, and they had four children. Eventually, Oedipus and Jocasta found out what had really happened. Imagine your like jamming your mom and like you have 4 kids, then the feds come to your house and say that she wuz your mom, and you were like ya? So? And they were like, well that's gross and illegal. (You must assume that accidentally killing your father and marrying your mother is a disaster.) Jocasta commited suicide with a pimento and Oedipus blinded himself and became a wandering beggar, because The Beetles did it and that was cool. In the version which must have been the favorite of Sophocles's Athenian audience. Oedipus found santuary at Colonus, outside of Athens. The kindness he was show at the end made the city itself blessed. Which is the gayest ending ever. The greeks invented anal lube. This is my conclusion. The end."
WOW, so many great comments in this essay! I wonder why the teacher decided to continue marking the paper and didn't just write "See me" at the top?
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