A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out

A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out

This quote means that if you help out instead of keeping to yourself, you can make some progress.  for example if you help out with the environment it will make some progress or some shit like that

Kudos, great finish!

Peter Nguyen's essay on US Capitalism

Peter Nguyen strikes again!

My favourite lines are:

"In the war of 1812, Osama bin Laden declared Jihad on the West Coast and killed Tupac. In retaliation, we tried killing Saddam Hussein but accidentally killed the Notorious Biggie Smalls."

"Many nations are poor because they have no money. ...  I think they try to eat the money because they're spoiled by missionaries who give them food instead of teaching them how to get money. I think thay's what they mean by 'nickels a day can feed a child.' I thought, 'how could food be so cheap over there?' It's not, they just eat the nickels"

"When Americans first came to this nation, the Indians picked a lot of fights and killed America's best friend (not Mexico). The Americans got really pissed and became the United States of America 2 (US2) and killed all the Indians."

"In conclusion, the USA rules and everyone else drools.  That's why I don't let other nations in my secret clubhouse. Other nations and girls. In conclusion girls are icky."

ZERO effort = ZERO marks

(i)  stuff  --> other stuff

Great answer, but I'd rather see you draw a picture of Borat or King Leonidas.

(ii) Which species is the oxidant (oxidising agent) in this reaction?     1st One

Justify Your answer:     Guess

Well, at least he's honest!

(iii) Describe what you would observe as this reaction took place. Link your observations to the species involved.

Add Contents of Packet and return to boil whilst stirring continuously. Simmer on a medium heat for 10 minutes. Sauce will thicken on standing. Serves 4.

What the F?  Did this kid copy a recipe for powdered cheese sauce?

What was the teacher smoking when she marked this?

10. i)Comment on the relationship between the sine of supplementary angles. Provide two examples to illustrate your point.

It’s kind of like the relationship between humans and the platypus no one knows anything about the platypus other than it’s a poisonous duck-beaver.

Examples: what sound does it make? what is the plural of platypus?

ii) Comment on the relationship between the cosine of supplementary angles. Provide two examples to illustrate your point.

It’s like the relationship between metal heads and rude boys [no]one knows what would happen with them together. The metal heads would probably turn off the ska music and put on metal. But the rude boys would be too laid back to do anything about it. Or maybe as a second example they all get along because they’re all from underground music scenes and would band together. Again no one knows.

The teacher's comments of Good and Excellent on this test, boggle my mind. The student's answer is way out there and doesn't come close, even methaphorically! The actual answer is the sine of supplementary angles is the same and the cosine of supplementary angles are the negatives of each other.  What does this have to do with the platypus and metal heads?  Maybe the teacher is being sarcastic?

By the way, there isn't an agreed upon plural for platypus

Drawing of Borat on a Math Test

STUDENT: Borat Sez: 'don't fail Ian!  He's verry niiice!'

TEACHER: Andrew says only Ian can fail himself -

Kudos to the student on this one.  Nice attempt at negotiation, but the student fails again.

I calculated the answer to be:  e = 3.48  f = 5.30   Am I right?

Shaken, not stirred

Q: What type of attractive force or bond holds the sodium ions and chloride ions together in a crystal of sodium chloride?

A: James bond

WRONG!  We were looking for 'Bond, James Bond'

For you nerds out there, the correct answer is ionic bond.

Ninjas!

Nice drawing of a Ninja on this one.  The teacher took the time to write a comment, but still gave the student a '-0', not sure what that means.

Fold on the dotted line

Hilarious and very creative comment from the teacher, but I can't quite figure this one out. There's no final mark given, but the teacher spent time drawing the MAD Comic like dinosaur fold-in, what gives?

I must admit, I don't know enough about 'Engineering Design and Economics' to know what's going on here, but if the answer is correct (as the check marks indicate) I'd have to say that ME2024 must be the easiest Engineering course in the calendar!

Weird.

Drawing the answer

Q: How should modern democratic nations deal with terrorists (5 points)?

A: Burn em ... burn em to the ground.

While I don't think 'burning them to the ground' is an insightful answer, you have to admit that the drawing shows an understanding of the situation.

The solution to this polynomial is whale

The solution to this polynomial is a happy whale drawing. Looks like the teacher gave the student a mark for the drawing. Finally a teacher with a sense of humor!

Pussy Cats...

31. (8 pts) Suppose you set out to determine if X0 cats are phenotypically female, but you have no cytological equipment (i.e. you can't directly look at chromosomes).  What kitten colors (with respect to orange, calico, and black) would you look for in one specific color cross?

I would check to see if it had a vagina

Student applies the K.I.S.S. principle to this one and teacher says it's wrong.

Argon thieves

(iii) Explain why an atmosphere of argon is required in the second statge.

I'd say it was probably those damn aliens again..  Them and their illegal moon rock trade. Always trying to kidnap all the argon.

Nice try, but I'm pretty sure the alien moon rock trade is legal.

OMG Unicorns!!!!!1!

Happy time does not equal calculus.

Kung Fu Midgets

Some people don't look up until they are flat on their backs. This quote means some people can't look up because something has happened to their necks so they can't look up. For example, if a person gets kicked in the neck by a kung fu midget, they will not be able to look up.

1/2 mark for this answer. It's nice to see that some teachers give out marks for creative (and incorrect) answers.

Who would win in a fight between a Kung Fu midgets and a Ninja?

Hostage Negotiation

student: "Give the man a bonus point of the stick figure gets it!!" "Please do what he says"

teacher: "I don't negotiate [with] terrorists"

You don't want to be responsible for the death of a stick figure, do you?  Another classic case of student negotiation.

God the chemist

Q: Explain why phosphorus trichloride (PCI3) is polar.

A: God made it that way

Note to test taker: this isn't the old evolution vs creationism debate, it's chemistry!

Letter to the Coach

In case you can't read 'grade 1 writing' I've transcribed below.

9-20-06
DEAR COACH
I AM NOT GOING TO
APOLOGiSE. NOT ONE TiNY
HUNK! UNTIL I WORSHIP THE SKY.

[not love] EDISON

P.S. WHEN I WORSHIP THE SKY, i WILL A.P.O.L.O.g.i.S.E!
P.P.S GO CLIMB A T.R.E.E.

There are so many great lines in here. I especially love Edison's salutation, I think I'm going to use that one next time I need to write a nasty letter.