Christopher Columbus discovers The Planet of the Apes

Here we have another great essay from out friend Peter Nguyen.
My favorites quotes are:

• "He, and his three trusty crewmates, Maria, Santa Maria and Tupac..."
• "...but it wasn't until he tried to return to America that the real nightmare began..."
• "The monkeys, amazed at the human's intelligence, refused to believe that there was an entire land of intelligent human..."

I especially loved how he slowly and cleverly morphs the essay into one about The Planet of the Apes.