I always knew it, but I needed math to prove it

The logic is a little wacky, but the math is correct and the result is correct, so who am I to question this proof.

This one is ducking awesome!

Props to the marker for not making an issue out of this tiny mistake.

Internet Slang on a Test

I have a problem with the marker giving the test taker a zero for question 2. I suppose the answer they were looking for was 'amateur', but if I were the marker, 'noob' would get a mark. Newbie is in the Merriam-Webster dictionary! Although, I suppose that means that I would also have to accept 1n7013r4nc3 for question 4.

Plants are more complicated than you think

This test is full of great answers!

2. List 5 ways (or more) that animals interact with each other:

1. eat each other
2. fight each other
3. talk to each other
4. chase each other
5. do each other

Great answers here. Looks like they only got 2 right, but I think "do each other" should have been worth a mark.


3. List 5 ways plants interact with each other
THEY DON'T

I've never heard a plant say anything either...


4. Where do plants get energy?
FOOD
5. What happens to that energy?
USED

For question 4 & 5 it looks like both the test taker and the marker gave up.

Hard and Soft Water

Q: Briefly explain what hard water is
A: ice

Another example of the student out smarting the teacher.

Gay Trigonometry

Wow! "x = suck my dick, fag" earns you a quick trip to the office I'm sure.

1/n sin x = ?

Turns out 1/n sin x = 6!

Christopher Columbus discovers The Planet of the Apes

Here we have another great essay from out friend Peter Nguyen.
My favorites quotes are:

• "He, and his three trusty crewmates, Maria, Santa Maria and Tupac..."
• "...but it wasn't until he tried to return to America that the real nightmare began..."
• "The monkeys, amazed at the human's intelligence, refused to believe that there was an entire land of intelligent human..."

I especially loved how he slowly and cleverly morphs the essay into one about The Planet of the Apes.

Won't somebody please think of the Pandas?

The writing's a little small, here's what it says:
Test taker: "The panda will cry if I get a bad grade (just keep that in mind, do it for the panda!)
marker: BOO HOO Cheer him up by studying for the final.

Failed negotiation, but a great comeback by the marker.

The Beer Law

Looks like the test taker drew what they did last night, which obviously wasn't study for this test.

This is NOT Sparta!

"This is Sparta" has become such a huge internet meme, that people are drawing it on their homework now.

Elephant to the rescue!

This test taker has great technique: reinvent the question. Keep this in mind for your next physics test.

The question isn't clear

You can't really fault the test taker for an answer like this. In my opinion, the marker should have given a pity mark (although it's not exactly clear from the test that they didn't.)

Great pattern matching

In this case, I think the student is smarter than the teacher!

Holocaust denial = FAIL

This is an interesting specimen. Let's recap, Chris manages to get a 0, incriminate himself and deny the Holocaust (which he spells wrong) all in three sentences! It would have been better if he didn't do the assignment and smoked another one instead.

WWII Essay about Jimmy McPerson

I love this one. Peter writes an excellent example of what Zero Out of Five is all about; if you do not know the answer, make it up. I find it interesting that Peter decided to make up something rather than write about someone real. This is remeniscent of 2 Girls, 1 Cup, 0 Marks.

I love how Peter talks about the "President of Japan" and how later in the essay he mistakingly (or on purpose) refers to Japan as China. I love the marker's comment when Peter writes that Hitler was right behind "Jimmy McPerson".

"If Jimmy was forgotten by History, how do you know about him?" that's a classic comment.

Misogyny gets you a FAIL

Women can do math just as good as men can, except the one on this test.

Artistic Impression

No mark is given on this excellent answer, but I hope the test taker got a sympathy mark for artistic impression. I love that the kid's shirt says "THUG LYFE" and he's getting kicked in the "Kung Fu Gland"

2 Girls 1 Cup 0 Marks

This student has huge guts, but the film review is written very well, despite this, the marker still gave the student a 0! What the hell? If you don't know what "2 Girls 1 Cup" is, I STRONGLY suggest that you DO NOT search for it on the internet. I'm being absolutely serious here, once you've seen it, you cannot unsee it.

Nana-nana-nana-nana Nana-nana-nana-nana BATMAN!

I guess the integral of Batman is Bruce Wayne, but that's not what the question asked.

That puts me in the mood for a little old skool Batman!

Heros in a half shell

For such an artful answer, the marker sure wrote a crappy 'x'.


For nostalgia, check out the TMNT theme song (RSS Readers need to click through):