Never divide by zero!

@CardsChic wrote this to me on Twitter:
"Apparently I was serious enough about dividing by zero."

Classroom Expectations and Responses

My family helps each other by...

... cutting the lawn?

Can you believe it?

Hey kiddies, guess what? ZERO out of FIVE is back baby! Can you believe it? I can't! I mean I guess I should believe it, but I don't. Anyways, sit back and enjoy some ZOoF, don't forget to share with your friends though...

Chuck Norris does not submit homework. Homework submits to Chuck Norris

Homework SWHHW...
(See what had happened was...)
Student Name: Chuck Norris
Date: 0 B.C.
Period: infinity
Assignment: WS 3.6
Reason HW is not complete: I'm Chuck Norris damn it
Signature: Chuck Norris
Turn this in before leaving class

Kristen writes:
"When students in my Algebra 1 class don't do their assignment I ask then to fill out a slip. One student turned this in today."

Thanks Kristen, I LOLed at this one!

Bribe

Pit Lord Joeshph says:
So ay... yea... I tink dat if dis 'ere be a passin grade dat twenty smackers might just go "appear" on yer desk... if you catch my drift...

First time I've posted a bribe ZOoF!

Always question the man

Impress me:
Why
+4
good.
Always question the man.

Dear Hilter

Dear Hitler,
My name is Takumi. I've been a big fan of yours since I learned about you in the history class. I love you war. You know how to fight, You wars were beautiful. I want to know you more.

Dutch Giraffe

Do any ZOoF readers out there speak dutch and care to translate?

A Flandato?

Why would scientists try to cross a flounder and a tomato?

How would you do that?
I guess they would want 
to make a fish red and taste
like a tomato? Like a Flandato?

No! A tomato to stay fresh in cold weather.

Should have been more specific

28) Write Fifty three thousand in Figures.
fifty three thousand in figures

Can't fault the student for this one...

Writing kills me

Writing kills me. If I write alot of summer my fingers will fall of. then Dad won't think it funny.

Physics Vagina

RAAARGH! I AM THE (positively charged) MIGHTY PHYSICS VAGINA
Fear Me
So inappropriate

Thanks to Mike for this excellent Physics ZOoF!

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

No excuses, just a little note to say that ZOoF is back again! Enjoy the ZOoFs and keep on ZOoFing!

Electrodes

Sharkspear

William Sharkspear: To Bite or Not to Bite!

Uruguay

Please Excuse Tyler...

This one was too good to pass up!

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/06/president-obama-writes-fifth-graders-excuse-note/

Native American Ascots?

Thanks to Michael for this excellent story:

It's been a few years, so I don't have the essay any more, but once I had an essay test where I was given an essay question "Do you think it's right to use native americans as ascots?" (the test meant to say "Mascots"). It was april fools day and I was feeling pretty cheeky, so I wrote a paragraph to the effect of "No, because Native Americans aren't made of cloth and they'd probably be very uncomfortable". I wrote my real answer on the next page, but before I turned it in I showed my fake answer to my teacher. You should have seen him; until I showed him that I actually did answer the question, he was absolutely furious at me. But once he learned it was just a joke, he took it in good stride.

If I remember, I think I got an "A" on that test.

Cooking with Mondays

Write the word,
1. I drink rat.
2. I wash in water.
3. Mom cooks with Monday.


I used to love it when my mom would cook with Monday!


Also, "Cooking with Mondays" would be a great name for a hipster band!


Thanks Samantha!