Zing!

The early sexual maturity of children and the subsequent shortening of childhood, has been caused by: Michael Jackson


Someone sign this kid up as a writer for The Tonight Show!

Definition FAIL

1 b) Define Referendum.

It refers to the end of the um

The teacher should have responded with: Um - no.

Here's another one that I just made up:

Define Plebiscite.

It's the site where a pleb spends most of his time?

Elementary Students do it too

It's not just high school and college kids drawing on their tests. This elementary teacher was not impressed with the student's artistic impression.

Reservoir Dogs Style Hostage Negotiation

For every point you take off, this guy loses a limb!

I have a stick family! Give him what he wants!

He means busines. Innocent stick people don't need to die!

Excellent stick figure hostage negotiation! It's obvious that the stick figure with the axe means business, yet the teacher still marks it all wrong. I guess the teacher doesn't have any compassion for stick figures.

Drunk Teacher?

b) Use the differential to estimate [equation]

I'm going to do √102√19 instead

Hrm, no...

I'm a freaking genius and that made no sense. Either you're an even greater genius or you were just desperate ti out something down. I don't sense any disturbances in the Force when I hold this paper so I'm guessing it's the later... But I'll give you a point in recognition of the fact that you help my attention for as long as you did.

Whoa, did I say that? Sorry, man, you're cool. Yesterday was wild.

Wow, sounds like the teacher was drunk! I love how the teacher gave the student a mark for his/her (incorrect) work! This student's efforts actually paid off, it means there is still hope out there the student who doesn't know the answer.

Fill in the blank

4. Justice League: the group of people elected to govern on local issues. The head of the council is called Superman or [Christopher] reeve.

Close, but the Justice League is not elected.

Meow

Must....... hold back........ must not make cat/female anatomy joke-

Explain how clouds are formed

Explain ONE of the three ways that clouds can be formed. Used diagrams to help illustrate your answer (2 marks)

I guess God isn't an acceptable answer. Maybe if this was a Sunday School test, it would be ok.

Who noticed the grammatical error in the question?

Wonder if the student meant 'ground' instead of 'grand' in the drawing?

Calling in the cheerleaders

Nice drawing, too bad it didn't work.

Epic Test Drawing

List 3 ways the film version is different from the play?

Parts are different

mising lines

extra scenes

Did you line the film? Why or why not?

better [???] plays book version

The student's drawing is way better than the written answer. I wonder what movie the test was on?

Snakes on a [mathematical] Plane

Somone call Samuel L. Jackson, I think this kid has a great idea for a sequal to Snakes on a Plane.

Pacman

Other acceptable answers: block of cheese, Trivial Pursuit playing piece and broken wheel.

YAHN: Yet Another hostage negotiation

I think the student has over estimated the amount of compassion his/her teacher has for stick people (none). We've seen this exact tactic a few times before.

I drew a lion

Two posts today, because yesterday's post was a dup of a previous post. Thanks to abbyface for pointing this out.

I drew a lion

Me too

The teacher's lion is better.

Some people don't look up until they are flat on their backs

Some people don't look up until they are flat on their backs.

This quote means some people can't look up because something has happened to their necks so they can't look up. for example, if a person gets kicked in the neck by a kung fu midget, they will not be able to look up.

The student would have got full marks if they omitted midget, because a kung fu midget can only kick you in the neck if you are also a midget.

A turtle makes progress...

A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out

This quote means that if you help out instead of keeping to yourself, you can make some progress. for example if you help out with the environment, it will make some progress, or some shit like that

The student's apathy in this answer is better that his/her answer.

New Math

Looks right to me...

Another Stick Man Hostage Negotiation

Stick man hostage negotiation is quickly becoming a popular way to try to get extra marks.

Peter Nguyen's biography of Walt Whitman

It's time for another essay from Peter Nguyen:

My favorite quotations:

"He and his friend, Huck Finn, traveled down the Mississippi river and freed the slaves."

"Walt Whitman's might seem like a real cool guy but in reality he's a whiny ass pussy."

"His Livejournal, which he doesn't think anyone knows about is full of whiny goth poetry. His Current Mood is always "Apathetic" and his music is always some obscure punk band that no one has ever heard of."

"Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and fell out because he wasn't fastened properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb ass, now none of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman."

Peter Nguyen, you should have your own blog!

Batman!

Q: Write the equation of the line that passes through (-3,-5) (6,1)

A: Can't answer the bonus... someone needs my help!

Another Batman post!

Props to the reader that can come up with the real solution to the bonus question.

Contrived Physics Question

Thanks to Gavin and Roland at Busted Carbon for sending this one to me.

26. A train is blowing it's whistle while traveling at a speed of 22.0 m/s. The speed of sound is 343 m/s. Observer A is directly in front of the train, while observer B is directly behind it. Find the whistle frequency heard by A and that heard by B.

  Observer A is dead

Give that student an A! I bet (s)he was the only one that got the frequency heard by Observer A correct.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Dear Internets,

Sorry for the long delay in posting, I decided to take the holidays off. I am back now, posting will resume.

Sincerely,

Zero Out Of Five.